THE STRUGGLE IS REAL......

If you attend carnivals like many of us do, then you understand the struggle. 

The struggle of trying to catch that lightning in a bottle on more time -- that feeling on the road, that feeling in the fete or that feeling when that soca song comes on. You are constantly running it down and trying to get it or something close to it. It is what makes us and defines many of us as soca junkies and carnival junkies.

The true struggle lies in the many variables which have to fall into place for you to catch that feeling.  There are so many ingredients. You have to be at the right place, with the right crew in some comfortable shoes, with a great DJ, with great things happening around you while sometimes dealing with a past or recent emotional traumatizing experience that is in diametrical opposition with what you are currently feeling so that the moment is even more heightened.  Then there's the weather, the ambience, etc.,. 

It's like trying to find and identify the ingredients for a perfect orgasm, with the understanding that the variables change per what your needs are. So what did it for you weeks ago, may not do it for you today.  So you "feen" for the next does. 

You try boat rides, fetes, different bands, different sections and different carnivals, all so that you can get that feeling -- so that you can catch that lightning in a bottle one more time. 

It's a struggle.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.....

Coming off of one carnival and then having that feeling of tabanca is a struggle.

Wanting to find a cure for it is also a struggle.

And keeping your "levels" somewhat normal so that you can function during the day is also a struggle. 

Sometimes you just want to take break from it all, but then you realize that a regular party, a hip hop song, a jazz festival or a regular cruise or vacation just cannot and will not satisfy your needs like a carnival or a good ass fete. So you "feen" and you chase that feeling.

You know the feeling.... is the one that you see on the videos that we watch throughout the year.

Or that feeling that you felt on that boat ride in Miami or that fete in Trinidad, or that J'ouvert in Grenada.  You search for it. And every once in a while..... you find that feeling or something close to it. 

Many of us have been able to find the feeling on a piece of workout equipment with our favorite song on repeat -- or while listening to our favorite DJ.  I know I have. It doesn't happen often but it does happen.  And when it does, I am thankful because finding that feeling in between carnivals is a struggle. 

Trying to do the budget, get time off from work and get a crew together (of people that you want to and can be around with) is tough. 

But it has to be done because not getting your carnival or soca injection is not an option.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL......

The judgement by your family and friends is real. They cannot seem to understand why you need to go or feel that you need to travel or "party"so much and they just don't understand that you don't NEED to...... YOU HAVE TO!!!

Some spouses don't understand this. Some friends don't. Some family members don't. They don't realize that if you fete more, then you are better for it and so are your relationships.  Some people do coke, weed, coffee, meth and other hard drugs..... but we..... we fete.  WE fete and we do carnivals like our lives depend on it because as junkies, it does.

And it's a struggle.

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.......

Maintaining the balance is real.

When you can't make it to the next carnival or the next fete you find yourself watching carnival videos all the time. You are on all the sites like Lehwego, TriniJungleJuice, Trinidad Carnival Diaries and many others. You are trying to keep a healthy carnival diet but there's nothing healthy about.  Carnival has consumed you.... You are a Junkie... and the struggle is so real.

I get it. We get.  And I know you get it.

Right now many of you have book for TNT next year or have decided that you are going to skip it and do some carnivals. Any way you cut it, you know THAT that means nothing.  What means everything is how you feel once that last song plays in Miami Carnival at the end of the year. Because that determines a lot for many of us.  That moment has taken even the hardest stance of "I'm not doing TNT next year" and turned it into, "Yeah, so I booked my ticket, can I stay in the room with you?"  LOL!!

We've all heard the stories. 

So why am I mentioning this?

Well, I'm writing because I'm struggling.

It's difficult juggling the family life, the professional life and the carnival life. It's a struggle. And I want to do more carnivals but I also want to spend a lot of time with my wife and kids because..... well, because I love them.  Plain and simple.   And as much as I get from them, I do give a lot too and I need the soca, the fetes and the carnivals to re-energize me and fill me up so that I can continue to function well in all the realms of governance which I have to govern.  And quite honestly, sometimes you just want to have other people tell you that you look nice. And as crazy as that sounds, it's the truth.

As the second half of this carnival season is upon us many of you are looking at Crop Over, Miami, the DC Carnival Experience, Grenada, Bermuda, Houston, LA, Atlanta, Orlando, and many other carnivals as well.  As you do make sure you enjoy the moment and I hope that you can catch the lightning in the bottle one more time.  Because if you don't..... THE STRUGGLE GETS MORE REAL.

Blessings from here to there,

Dr. Rhadi Ferguson
The Carnival Doctor