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The Trouble With
Writing Part 6
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As I sit here at my laptop I can honestly tell you that I've tried to write this part 6 recap of Trinidad Carnival about 4 times already. I've put in a few hours of work each time, only to delete.

So, I just say f*** it because the bottom line is this. You can try as much as you want to capture Carnival Monday and Tuesday in a blog post but it's not going to happen. I mean, I could pull it off if I were writing for some high end magazine to some people that just wanted to know about carnival on the surface level but let's be for real, you -- the readers of TriniJungleJuice would see right through that surface bullsugar. 

So I'm just going to keep it real and write from the dome and talk about why I'm having such a difficult time writing. Because I am and that's the truth.

I've been asked to write a book about my Olympic experience before and I never tell anybody the real reason why I cannot do it.  It's because, it's just too painful. The euphoria of the competition, making the team and walking around the track at the Opening Ceremonies pales in comparison to the pain, anguish, sacrifices and losses that come with such a wonderful experience. And writing about the experience means that I have to relive that, even if I don't write about it, and I can't.  I just can't. Too painful. Too much. Too dark. Too deep.

Well, carnival in TNT has a deep and dark side to it but it has nothing to do with carnival. It has to do with real life.

Carnival is an escape from real life.  It's a time where we can run away literally and virtually and be free. And then we can put on our favorite song or mix and close our eyes and zone out and be right back on the road or in the fete with our friends.  It allows us to escape.  To run away.  To make a way to live in the real by holding on to the dream. 

There would be nothing greater than if we as a community of soca lovers could get together, once a month and meet on the road, behind a truck, with drinks flowing and dance until our feet hurt and our spirits are emptied from hate and filled with joy.   Carnival is such a beautiful time that the better time you have, the worse the tabanca experience is.

When you escape, you have to come back. But when you come back and are still trying to mentally escape, less of you is present than before you left.  This is the issue or problem that I have seen many of the virgins have that are in relationships.  And this is so appropriate for the part 6 recap because this piece is just as important as the recapping of events.  Because being able to go to carnival, especially for those in relationships requires balance and quality communication.

Why is this important?

Because carnival is a quality experience. A great one, and one that you hunt down and look forward to do it again. I have not met one person who did carnival the right way who came back home and said, "Welp, that's it. Been there, done that. I can scratch that off the list."

Everybody that I know and the virgins that I've prepped have all said that it was THE BEST time of their lives and they want to do it again.  (Caveat: PLEASE do not return home and tell your spouse that CARNIVAL was the best time in your life.  What they will hear is, "This experience was better than you."  I know that's not what you said, would say or would mean to say, but I'm telling you what they hear. So govern yourself accordingly.)

It's like you want to catch that lightning in a bottle or get that moment again. You know that there is nothing like Trinidad but you hope that a Jamaica, Cayman Island, Cropover, Miami, Toronto, Notting Hill,  Grenada experience, etc.,. will provide you with a good enough "hit" to hold you over until next year. All the while, you are going through the year. And if you are married or in a relationship with someone who is not a carnival goer like you, it can cause a minor problem if you don't recognize what we can call The Carnival Paradox - How Happiness Can Create Sadness. 

A few years back Michael Raynor wrote a book that changed the way that I coach my clients. The book was titled, "The Strategy Paradox: How Committing To Success Can Lead To Failure." In that book, as suggested by the title, he talked about the way that we can so dearly and fiercely cling on to a seemingly fool-proof strategy that such a strategy can cause us to fail.

After returning from Carnival, I like you, have been looking at damn near every video on youtube, instagram, facebook, Lehwego, Trinidad Carnival Diary, TriniJungleJuice and everywhere else. I've been searching for the music, the roadmixes and everything else related to my 2015 experience. And I've also been dealing with my tabanca responsibly.  After returning home, I cut all the carnival travel talk OFF!

OFF!!

Alison Hinds was in the city where I live a few weeks ago and as much as I wanted to go, I spent the whole weekend with my family. Why?

Because the key to is to change your focus and shift to get and connect a quality feeling to something "real" and constructive.

This is real talk.

I've talked to many of you in facebook messenger chats and I've seen some of your posts on Facebook and on instagram where you say, "take me back."  I've seen some of you complain about your job or your financial situation.  Don't do it.  The set up of your life allows you to live in the dream world, but don't focus on the dream and negate the reality. Don't focus on the pot of gold -- focus on the rainbow (that's the miracle). 

Everyday is carnival.

Because everyday, you are blessed to have the same friends that were on the road with you THIS year - still here. And for some of you that do not or have lost some of the members in your crew, you understand, that everyday should be a celebration -- not waiting until carnival. Carnival is just an opportunity to go to a big party in order to celebrate life's blessings. 

But there are some of you that are reading this that need to slowly shift and reshape your focus so that it doesn't get out of hand. And this is more so for the virgins, not the veterans. The vets know this already and then there are some who have already made this mistake and things have already gone south.

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The Delicate Art of Balance
What I Did, And What You May
Need To Do
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I'm a superb martial artist, but by no means am I an expert when it comes to balance in relationships.  I juggle just as many balls as I drop...unfortunately.  However, I do understand that I AM juggling and that focus IS necessary and that some of the balls that drop, do NOT need to be picked up.

Here's what I did after carnival.

What I did was utilize the same fervor and proactiveness that I have for carnival in the scheduling and planning of a family trip and a trip with my wife.  I piggybacked the housing discussion in the airport while leaving Trinidad to make sure that we were on the same page for next year and put a down payment on my housing quickly. Then after I got home, I tabled all carnival talk except that which dealt with my work with TriniJungleJuice.  Other than that, the focus was on family and setting up a family vacation.  I also had to really jump back into work full speed and remove myself from some of my WhatsApp carnival group chats in order to focus.

Remember, the feeling of Tabanca is a let down from a high. You are an addict. You will look for that high again. But you have to have some modicum of control over it so that you can function in your real world.

Such understanding is key.

And now since we've got that out of the way, here's what I want to tell you.

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TRIBE (nuff said)
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On Monday and Tuesday, I play mas in a band called TRIBE. TRIBE IS THE ULTIMATE CARNIVAL EXPERIENCE. The service, the people, the security and the trucks on the road are absolutely fantastic.

People can say what they will about Tribe and it being too crowded or having a lot of people, etc.,. Here's what I will tell you..... TRIBE IS THE ULTIMATE CARNIVAL EXPERIENCE.  Period. If you ever have an opportunity to play in TRIBE, do it.

The vibes, the men, the women, the costumes, and the SERVICE is impeccable.

Love, Peace and Soca.

(If you've enjoyed this, you will most certainly enjoy The Ultimate Road Ready Guide)

Blessings From Here To There,

Rhadi Ferguson, PhD
"The Carnival Doctor"
www.TheUltimateRoadReadyGuide.com

P.S. For the best information in the world concerning carnivals please visit www.TriniJungleJuice.com  For the most comprehensive site available for fete tickets and masquerader costumes, please visit www.MyCarnivalBands.com

P.P.S. For more information on how to properly prepare for carnival like a true veteran, please visit www.CarnivalPrep.com